10-11 January, Poland, Atalaya Foundation
The project began with a meeting where we set the details of the project. We had time to integrate, present our organizations, get to know each other. We talked a lot abut our vision of the project, the and result, promotion. We managed to plan activities for the nearest time. Two busy and nice days are behind us. The next meeting will be in May- first short-term training in Poland.
Our program is dedicated to adults of different origins (multicultural environment), pairs and marriages, also low skilled and low qualified adults, who will improve their soft skills competencies (including inter-cultural knowledge), increase their quality of life, decrease the risk of exclusion or breaking up their relationship, learn and acquire skills of building diverse family as a social unit, empower them to deal with every day challenges being a part of diverse society and also raising children facing their own difficulties growing in a diverse family. Atalaya and our partnership organizations have variety of accessible and suitable for this project methods we want to share, exchange, improve and implement both in a testing phase (working in a pilot meetings with cross cultural pairs), then preparing a unique cross cultural pairs Guide, finally disseminating the results in cross cultural environment, societies and all directly and indirectly related circles.
The main goal of the project is a practical guideline for cross-cultural couples – the unique on-line publication in form of interactive PDF file (exercises, QR codes, links to additional materials and testimonial video) bringing new quality of tools, methods, know-how and inspirations how to deal with intercultural issues both for mixed couples, families, present or future parents. In this Guide we are answering the needs that are not covered by up to date governmental, European or other programs in local, national or transnational meaning. Upon to our research (Poland, Italy, Spain and EU) and initial interviews (qualitative personal interviews with almost 40 people in Poland and Spain), we found out that mixed couples are facing a lot of communication, inter o intra-personal and social problems.
We want to support and give them practical tools in answering their needs in context of multicultural environment they are belonging to: better understanding each other, improving their relationship, empowering themselves dealing with social exclusion or marginalization, raising children together, dealing with family roles and contacts, building a strong and healthy social unit – cross cultural family. In terms of including participants to our program from the very beginning, we’d like to examine them further on collecting more information about real needs and desires among mixed pairs, also in parental roles or being excluded. We would also work on guide in common dialogue – by inviting them to get familiar with and test the methods delivered by each partner, learn them and test them in natural environment and also come back with the feedback. We would have pilot training sessions (workshops, group meetings) and individual consultations.
What is innovative in working on guide is both the new approach, collecting different methods and culturally diverse European countries experiences and including experience with different social groups. Innovative is also the form in which the result will be available – on-line interactive publication to be downloaded for free, containing self assessments tools, testimonials, materials and knowledge.
An overall concept for the guide is to make it as much practical as possible. It will remain on-line guide containing the way of communication adjustable and applicable for vast numbers of people on local, country, regional, European and worldwide level and both for different cultures as well social groups (eg. Millenials). There are several rules to follow in cross cultural communication, as open minded approach, ability to adjust, emotional intelligence and empathy competences. That’s why this guide and given tools might suite different people and nations. We are planning to implement Guide to future educational activities, both in Atalaya and our partnership organizations. It would bring continuity and dissemination effects further on, even when the project ends.
NVC Mediations – method firstly founded by Marshall Rosenberg – American psychologist, who invented Nonviolent Communication (NVC), called also ‘a language of a heart’ or ‘giraffe language’. It’s a four step model of communication focused on naming facts, emotions, needs and requests. Based on that, Ike Lasater and John Kinyon from USA, under M. Rosenberg’s mentoring, have integrated and developed a new methodology of conflict resolving process, named NVC Mediations. NVC Mediations are about listening to—and really hearing—ourselves and others. What is unique about using NVC
Mediations, also in multicultural environment is:
– approach every conflict as an opportunity
– conflict leads to connection
– self connection is crucial to achieve connection with others
– understand and communicate our needs with clarity, and with empathy for the universality of those needs
– we mediate all kinds of conflicts: internal, interpersonal and external
– NVC Mediation helps navigate difficult situations
– this method is universal to work with different individuals and groups, including children
Cross-cultural competence: CCC is a soft-skill competence, which consist of 3 parts: Knowledge, Skills and Attitudes towards other cultures.
After the development of CCC, cross-cultural couples can be strengthened and supported in such ways:
– Broaden understanding of the influence of the culture on personal, daily life
– Developed methods of cross-cultural, adequate communication
– The abilities to minimize stress in cross-cultural relationship, which is an outcome of cross-cultural clashes
– Developed knowledge about most important cross-cultural psychology theories (such concepts as the the cultural dimensions, ethnocentrism, culture shock, etc) and their practical implications on a daily life behaviours people living in cross-cultural relationships
– Deeper understanding of cross-cultural relations in a way of dealing with cultural clashes, building culturally aware relation, creating culturally responsible home
An activity in which you listen to someone asking for help. Counselling has among its priorities the attention to the body and the messages that this sends. The counselling functions are:
1) To limit a problem, to highlight it, so that user knows what he has to face and whether it is better to do it alone or with the help of someone
2) Strengthening individual awareness of problems, which is one of the main ways through which prevention works
3) Help each individual to define goals, make decisions and solve problems in relation to personal, social, educational or work difficulties.
The Gestalt counsellor helps mixed couples to formulate new points of view on their problems and their relationships, in a flexible way, through the search for the production of awareness, which guarantees greater effectiveness in terms of change and comparison of cultural differences. In the meetings, the counsellor will be able to identify the representations and the cultural resistances that create adaptive difficulties and which disrupt interpersonal relationships. The counsellor will help couples, clarifying their emotional components and acting as a facilitator of communication, so that the partners find or retrieve the effective way to get in touch and to solve moments of impasse in communication. The counsellor’s work will also aim to make sure that the partners become aware of the possibility that their insecurities due to the failure of a romantic relationship could be passed on to the children.
The method developed by Permacultura Cantabria during more than 14 years has proven to be efficient to prevent conflicts, release tension and reduce stress among couples, families and adults in general. It is based on two pillars: deep listening and favoring emotional discharges (crying, yawning, laughter and trembling). We have to bear in mind that everybody receives mistreatment systematically, due to the color of their skin (racism), their age (ageism), their gender (sexism), their financial capacity (classism), their physical appearance, etc. Therefore, a foreign person belonging to a minority culture will be more vulnerable of being abused than others who belong to the dominant culture groups.
Emotional Management, apart from offering tools, which allow us to work on our own conditioning and the abuse received due to our identity, also aims to make visible these social oppressions, so that we can organise ourselves to stop them. Besides this, Emotional Management will allow cross cultural couples to better solve their daily conflicts between the partners and also with their children.